My subconscious thinks I’m a hot mess and has been trying to tell me all month.

I’ve always found myself lucky to have very vivid dreams. This backfires when my mind decides to have the same nightmare four times in a row in a single night, but usually it’s pretty great. It’s always interesting to see what my mind conjures up, and even more enlightening to try and figure out what my subconscious is trying to tell me. Most of the time I can make connections from my dreams and different discussions or events that happened during the day. Every now and then, however, there are some dreams I have that I simply cannot explain to myself. That’s where dream dictionaries come in, and hopefully they can shed some light on the wild images my brain produces. The following are three dreams I had this month that had no connection whatsoever to the prior day and that I would like some explanation to:

I had a dream I was going bald and I still think about it every day.

The dream was simple enough: It was finals week, I woke up a little jittery from nerves because it was a big test day and I walked into the bathroom to check out how much work needed to be done that morning so I didn’t look like a bear that had just awoken from hibernation. That’s when I saw it… or rather, I didn’t see it.

My hair, that is. The front left quarter of my hair was missing. Not ‘someone buzzed your head in your sleep, wow you really should have taken off your shoes at that party’ missing. Full blown, wispy, “is my scalp really that pale?” missing.

I was balding.

“So what’s December!?!?!?” “SHIT.”

There is no part of my cerebrum that can fully comprehend the fact that it is actually December. So much so, that the title of this blog post is exactly what happened this afternoon when Logan texted me. With writing in my notebook, it started to feel so natural that I completely forgot that I was doing challenges and it had become a public thing that people actually paid attention to. My bad.

It also made me realize two things:

1. I totally didn’t make the Tinder post I meant to. (I’M TRASH. I KNOW.) 

2. I’m really glad I consulted Colin on what to do for December, because he is a genius and came up with a great idea. 

For the month of December I will continue to fill up my notebook and this blog with DREAMS. My dreams, if we’re being specific.

“DREAM DECEMBER”: Throughout the month I will write down the dreams I have and then transfer them onto here. If I can’t remember certain dreams, then I will analyze past ones and figure out what makes me tick (thanks for this suggestion Cohen – it’s terrifying).

Nothing like a deep discussion on the subconscious to get you warm on a cold Winter’s day, eh?

I’ll probably also try out different remedies before bed and see if what you consume (or don’t consume) changes how vivid your dreams are. I’ve always found dreams to be fascinating and I’m looking forward to really delving into mine and exploring.

Let’s hope I have another one about eating chili with Betty White.

It’s Finally November and I Totally Broke Up With OK Cupid Via Text.

There were times in the past month when I thought that maybe I had lost my mind, because the online dating world simply could not be as mentally unstable as what I was witnessing. Regardless of the therapy sessions I could use right now, October seemed to be everyone’s favorite month. November has begun, however, which means that it is time for me to take on a new challenge.

October seemed to be very much for the enjoyment of everyone else and less for the benefit of my own growth as a human being. I certainly came out of the experience a changed person, but I don’t know if it’s “I feel so enlightened” changed or “I feel dirty and need to take a shower even though I didn’t meet these guys in person*” changed.

Since October was for the public, November is going to be something more personal: NOTEBOOK NOVEMBER.

I used to keep notebooks/journals/diaries/post-its all around because I enjoyed the action of physically writing my ideas down. Somewhere in the past year I lost touch with that and it’s a habit I would like to bring back, but with a facelift. During the month of November I want to take an empty notebook and fill it with ideas, poems, stories, quotes, random words, graphs about food, poorly drawn stick figures, lyrics to songs dedicated to cats, etc.

I just want to write something down every single day. Even if it’s only a sentence.

I probably won’t be sharing any of what I write on here, so to keep the crowd satisfied I have decided to also continue my online dating excursions for the time being – seeing as I have been asked multiple times to do so in the form of texts, fb messages, and drunken demands. I aim to please, and if trying to flirt with a parrot on Tinder is what the people want, who am I to deny them?

* I did meet three guys, but none were from the dirty swamp that is OK Cupid… and for the record, I deleted the OK Cupid app the minute it turned November 1st. So if there’s another app you’d like me to potentially try out this month, let me know. Otherwise, may Tinder’s flame live on.

28 Different People You Meet on OK Cupid

When it comes to dating sites, OK Cupid, hands down, has the strangest crowd I have ever had the unfortunate event of virtually meeting. There’s no way to perfectly express how ridiculous people can be when trying to get a stranger’s attention, so I am here to present to you 28 different people you meet on OK Cupid:

I went on a date with a Ninja Turtle and yes, I got free pizza.

I don’t take online dating seriously… like at all. Especially Tinder. So when I came across a profile of someone pretending to be Leonardo the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, it was as if I hit the trolling jackpot.

I’ve been on OK Cupid less than 24 hours and it has already solidified every reason I’ve ever had for being single.

Due to high demand, I stupidly made a profile on the OK Cupid app yesterday. 

Wake up, Green Day. September is over.

Alright, so in the week since I last word-vomited all over this blog, not too much has changed. It’s about to get hellishly hot all over again, and I’m still unemployed. I did, however, start trying out some of the classes at LA Fitness and they’re pretty fun – so at least that’s a bit of change in my life. Also, my roommate has decided that he is going to ask every single breathing male to go on a date with me. Even the married ones. You think I’m exaggerating, but he literally yells at guys as they’re coming out of the gym while I hide behind concrete posts.

Jamal, I know you’re reading this. Trust me when I say I will smother you in your sleep.

Murder aside, it’s a new month and this time I let my best friend choose my challenge:

ONLINE DATING OCTOBER.

Wow, Logan. Thanks.

If you know me at all, you know dating is not my thing. I think of “partners” as glorified best friends and I openly admit to anyone that I’m afraid of commitment. Also, our generation in general is an absolute shit-show, so to add the detached technological aspect of trying to date someone in that equation that is a disaster waiting to happen. A potentially hilarious disaster, however, which is why I agreed to go with it.

I am telling you now that I fully intend to not date anyone during this month, but rather, share my experiences and the varied personalities I come across since the situations and conversations a single person on the internet can experience nowadays can be quite shocking, to say the least.

I’ve already established with people that Tinder is a horrific “must”, but let me know if there’s another platform out there I should explore for the entertainment of everyone.

Just let it be known I am not going on ChristianMingle.com. Sorry, Mom.

Fasten your seat belts, it’s time to get caught up on September.

It has finally stopped feeling like living in the middle of Satan’s sauna here in sunny California, so I thought it would be appropriate to dust the volcanic ash off my computer and fill you all in on how my move is going so far.

The first question everyone asks me is, “DO YOU HAVE A JOB?” the answer is, “No, but I’m working on it.” Honestly.

I wake up, make myself some breakfast, and then spend the next 2-4 hours looking at job listings and applying before going for a run. Throughout the day I’ll check up on career sites to see if anything new has been posted, but it’s usually not too much. Things haven’t really been panning out too well for me, so last week I went to a staffing agency in hopes that another pair of eyes out there will be helpful. Side note: I was the only person in “a very very very long time” to get 100% on both their Excel and Word tests – so see!? I am hirable.

The days are long with nothing to do, and it has been so hot out that leaving the house even just to wander around and escape for a bit is impossible without melting to death.  Thankfully, my car arrived last Monday, so I am finally able to cruise around in air conditioning if it tickles my fancy – which it doesn’t that often because I am poor and gas is expensive. In the end, it’s quite frustrating to want to work and not be able to, but I just have to keep faith that something will come along soon. I kind of have to, right? I’d make a horrible lady of the night.

Lucky me for me, I have great roommates and great friends. Before my car arrived, O and Jamal (my roommates) would take me wherever I needed to, or even would drive me around for a bit at the end of the day like a tired toddler so I could see something other than the house’s walls. It was very kind of them. My wonderful friend, Jaimee, also drove up to see me within my first week of being here so we could catch up after being apart for almost TWO YEARS. The real excitement, however, is when Lauren came to visit and I somehow ended up in Hollywood three nights in a row without any intention of going there in the first place. 

It’s September and I’m Not Putting a Green Day Lyric Here.

Hello my little readlings. 

As you can see, I’ve moved platforms for my blog… a fresh start if you will… which is why I’m going to waste no time whatsoever in stating that my September challenge is going to be START OVER SEPTEMBER. 

I know that seems silly, but at this point in my life it’s quite fitting. 

You see, not only is this blog starting anew (fresh as ever), but my entire life is. I moved across the entire country on September 1st, and while I have lived in Southern California before, I have yet to actually live in Long Beach. It’s all unknown to me. 

September is going to be all about trying to get acclimated to this environment and truly make this place home. That includes getting to know my roommates (one which isn’t even in the country, currently). I also need to find a job (which is an entirely exhausting adventure on its own). I need to make sure my car makes it to me from Maine safely (It’s currently being driven in tornado weather – DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT IT). I need to catch up with my friends out here (and make new ones – because you can never have too many friends). I need to find new hobbies (honestly, I’m so boring), and – finally – I need to find a new routine. There’s something about having a routine that makes a place settle in your bones. I’m looking forward to that. 

Throughout the month I will write little stories on here about things that happened and how it’s all working out. This is not just for you all to be informed, but also so I can mentally process everything and see how I feel about it all. I’m hoping by the end of September I’ll still be as jazzed about the move as I am right now. 

Here’s to fresh beginnings. 

SIDE NOTE: Sorry this post was so brief and to the point – I spent 3 days moving my blog and by the end of it I was exhausted and late on getting this posted… sooooo my bad.